For years I was totally miserable. It became worse and worse, because I helped my situation really well: I did nothing at all to improve my situation and anything to feel more and more rotten.
The reason of my misery was that I had too many negative people around me. They challenged me more and more. To be constantly on my toes, so that I could work during daytime, go out in the evening, eat junk food and still keep on functioning. A beautiful house, a great car: everything had to be there and it all had to look wonderful. Am empty existence.
It destroyed me, because I am so totally not empty inside. I wanted meaning and depth in life, but didn’t find it anywhere. I needed drugs to keep myself fit and I also insisted on sporting. Wanted alcohol for being social and I didn’t want to miss anything in life. The only thing I did not need, was anything real, according to my friends in that period of my life.
I kept on going that way for years, but then life started taking its toll. I started vomiting because of the alcohol and drugs. Didn’t want them anymore, but without them I wasn’t able to work. My job was my life, maybe because I’m a man. One night I fell into a coma and was brought to the hospital. When I woke up after hours, I had taken my decision: I would stop that empty life. I desperately wanted to keep my job, because it brought me pleasure and fulfillment. Self-confidence and a nice income.
Full of shame I told my boss what was going on. He had already known it for a while and smiled. He said he was happy I had come to my senses. I called in sick and he knew a good rehab for me. It was really, really hard on me and I hardly survived it, but I got it done. I have been sober from drugs and alcohol for a year now.
There are still difficult moments, but I have started working again on a therapeutic basis which I thank to another lady. Sophia Vassiliou, all the best therapist, life teachter and coach with the most medical knowledge in the world. This woman helped me through everything. Through my darkest moments. She always knew what to say to me, what food and natural medicine she had to advice me. My testimonial for Sophia Vassiliou.
With her enormous inner strenght she knew how to talk everlasting courage and self-confidence into me. Even when she wasn’t there. She chased away my illusions and paranoid thoughts with the patience of an angel. She showed me where I could find depth in life. I didn’t need to suddenly become religious for it or to join some creepy club. No, the depth was inside me. In walking for hours with a great book in my pocket and a bottle of fruit juice. In watching beautiful and funny movies, in visiting interesting meetings, theaters and many things more. Not in the middle of the night, but during daytime like normal people do.
“In nightlife there are dark people”, Sophia simply said. She had got to know nightlife herself too as a singer in her youth. She had kept up because of her love for music and by not drinking one drop of alcohol, she told me. There weren’t many drugs in her homeland Greece in that time and she also didn’t feel a need for them. I myself think she kept up because she didn’t lose herself like I did. She sang in clubs where students and families frequented. If I had worked during nighttime, I would have visited underground clubs as well and I would have hit the bottom.
That which made me hit that bottom, was my lack of being myself. My self-confidence, my stability and my self-esteem. A hole within me, my own personal hole in my soul. Now I am back thanks to her and I will get her out of her own troubles too: a social and financial isolation, which she isn’t the cause of. I will help her get a lot of patients, because anyone who gets into her hands, jumps into a gold mine.
If you wonder why the texts on some pages of this website sound different or are written in the third person: I have rewritten them. It is the least thing I can do for this amazing woman.
©Sophia Vassiliou – Vassiliou Empowerment
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